Tuesday, August 08, 2006

no title #1

It's early in the morning, K is in a haste to catch the subway on time, on the way he grabs a copy of subway's free newsletter and as he is looking at the topics he passes his card , passes by the guards that are getting more and more these days and rushes down the stairs, looks up at the tableau and sighs, a sigh of relief, he's still got a minute…" more than 25 dead in yesterday's attack, more than a half kids"…here comes the train, the roaring sound and the lights fill up the place, K is still looking at the picture of the ruins of what seemed to be once a modern building….Train stops and the doors open, people get off, K absent mindedly gets on the train and sits on the first vacant place he sees, a young man, all in white sits next to him, K notices that his face is very serious and blunt…K starts reading again, " in yesterday's attacks which covered areas in south and south east of Beirut…" The man turns and looks at his newsletter, and then as if angry he says: "All they can talk about are these numbers." K is startled, these numbers? He shakes his head and mumbles:" well it's horrible." The man once again says angrily:" what's horrible sir? The numbers? Do you honestly think about these numbers? Well if you do then let me give your brain even more food: yesterday there was much more than this, to be accurate 412 kids died in Africa alone…"K looks the man into the eyes, the whiteness of his eyes is extraordinarily white, or is it because the pupils are very black? He's all dressed in white and he seems really annoyed by something, the man continues" and 50 in Iraq, half of whom were women , if you're really interested to know…" K says:" Sir, sorry, You really seem to be upset about it, but…" the man cuts his sentence:" are you really sorry? Really? And why shouldn't I be upset? " K says :"Well but these are the usual stuff they write in news papers." And immediately he knows he has made a mistake by saying that…The man doesn't say anything for a second, he just looks at K with his unbearably enigmatic presence and then he turns his head and as if talking to himself, he says:" That's how you are, all of you, these are just numbers for you, toys for you to play with while getting to work or while trying to sleep, and it's simple, you've been told that these are important, and further you don't have anything else to keep yourself busy with, all you have are these numbers , numbers from all around the world, so you've got used to them…" K doesn't know what to do, or what to say…He is not comfortable with this man. The man turns to face K again :'But you know these numbers mean a lot to me, I've tried for each and every one of them, I've cried while doing some of them, I've been thrilled by the ways you've made me do it, from long ago I only asked for control over this, and through out this long and exhausting time you've never let me do it my way or with my pace…It is painful." K is scared and haunted with his words, the deep voice and the pupils which are getting darker and darker against the whiteness around them. The man says:" It is painful. Doing this your way is really painful and exhausting. " The train suddenly stops, it is the main transfer station, full of people like always, the man stands up and without any other words gets off the train and in a second he is lost in the crowd. K looks at the newsletter, " …a bus and its twenty…".

Well let me be the first to comment, in a way this story seems childish to myself too:), but I was thinking about it for a few days, somehow like old plays where you have this character of death or satan or angel...and I was thinking well how would he/she/it feel about it? And another important thing is that I was always fascinated by the film "The sky above Berlin" by wim wanders ( I first read its script). This invisible existence that may or may not exist, may have symapathy with us, or envy us or get angry with us, and the indirect way we may feel it...


The sky above Berlin

8 comments:

LT said...

First of all, NEVER again call anything you write childish. What you have here is a plot! They way that you've explained all the details of the scenes, as well as the characters, really help the reader to get into the atmosphere of your story.

I was wondering who the strange man was while reading the post. My first guess was an angel. Maybe even angel of death!!!

I think it is a great idea that you keep trying to write plots like this and keep in mind that what you are doing is VERY hard. So it should take some time till you reach the level that you have in mind, but I'm sure it will be worth it. The way that I always think about it, is that I can either write the way that it is easiest for me, or try to do something bigger. It may be hard at the beginning, but the result will be very rewarding.

Welcome to the group my dear! Great post! Please keep on writing plots!

And I will add that movie to my "MUST WATCH MOVIE LIST." Thanks for introducing a good movie here.

LT said...

Oh no!
I just looked at the movie page and I think they have imitated this movie while making "City of Angels!" x-( Is that right? I wish I've had watched the original first!

Anonymous said...

Leili just look for the original version which is somehow old(1987), there is this newer "hollywoodized" version with meg ryan and nicolas cage "city of angels" which you may have seen it, and I can just describe it as a copy made in hollywood, for me that says it all.

LT said...

good comment Pezhman!
It reminded me of "The Little Prince", 'sazde koochooloo'. All his life the pilot in that story had to bare with grown ups, who only cared for numbers. And one day, the little prince appeared from nowhere. And he knew what were the real important things in life.

Baran's plot is the darker version of that story though.

Siamak said...

Hey guys, what's wrong with something being childish? I would give everything to be able to write childishly, think childishly, see childishly, behave childishly or look-like childish. Then I could get rid of all those habitual ways of writing, thinking, seeing and behaving, and all the time interact with the world in a new unique childish way.

Maybe even the man in white was only childish?

Anonymous said...

You know I am really happy about something, the simple point that you're not sure about the identity of the man in white, to me sounds great:), maybe because to me that means you each have your own version and imagination about before and after this scene, and I really like it when a story leaves space for the reader to make it more personalized...as for childish siamak and leili you're both right, this is the perfectionist side of me which is constantly making funny comments. and Pezhman I like the way you thought about K and his feelings. You know that "other aspect of reality" is another preoccupation of mine, Oh that is something you can create stories from! The one I love most to this day is "Marge Yazdgerd" from Bahram Beizaiee...Both the play and the film are fabulous, The way he shows you those "other aspects of reality" ....Thank you, I guess you reminded me of some valuable material I can work on...

LT said...

Siamak you're definitely a lot FUN! you don't need to try to be childish! ;-)

But great comment honey!

LT said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE "marge yazdgerd" and I own it! Maryam gave it to me when I was leaving Iran. I think she got too emotional because who would want to give up a movie like that?