It's time to stir up some controversy!
A few days ago this article showed up in the Globe and Mail: 40 is the new 35 when it comes high-risk pregnancy
The article is mainly tackling the scientific studies that looked at risks of amnio for pregnancies that are considered high-risk. Nothing really shocked me about the facts, since my colleagues (successful, educated women) got married in their 30s and by the time they were ready to have kids, they were past the 35 years of age. How did their kids turn out? Very normal.
I am 28, still tempted to go back to school for a change or enhancement of my career. but how do I know that I won't have children well into my 30s? Well, there is no sign of a soulmate (i.e. husband).
Many of us have asked ourselves whether or not women can have it all: education, career, loving husband and a child or two. More and more I look around and the answer I find is YES, THEY CAN. So, what if they have children later in life?
However, some people think it is unnatural and inconvenient that women are putting career/education first. Just read these comments.
What is exactly the problem, according to the critics?
- Optimal age of reproduction (physiologically speaking) is 20-30
- Later pregnancies might lead to an unsatisfactory sex-life
- Parents are not as energetic as they would be 10 years younger
- why do women think career is more important than having a family?
Well, to start, the first 2 facts have never been really proven!
About fact #3, I'd have to say an older parent may not be as energetic, but might be a lot happier, since it probably was a sure decision to have a family and parents are well professionally (and financially) established.
On fact #4, well I am biased. If men believe that their confidence depends on their career advancement, why do they think women are any different? Also, looking at divorce statistics (50%) don't we all believe that single mother should be able to provide, just in case?
More and more men are choosing to get married in their late 30s. Does that mean for the sole purpose of procreation they need to marry women at least 10 years younger?
It is true that many people don't have a choice when it comes to the timing of their pregnancy, because they hadn't found a partner or simply couldn't get pregnant earlier. But please, give today's woman a little more credit (i.e. choice if you like).
Women have every right to a well-established career if they desire. They have a right to financial stability (by themselves) if they deem necessary and they have a right to have children when they are ready.
Many ask "is a late pregnancy worth the risks because the woman chose her career first?" I am not fully qualified to answer this question. I'd like to ask moms (who had kids well in their 30s and 40s) to answer that for us.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
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3 comments:
Arkansas couple welcome their 17th child
1. I think in order to have it all you should not rank them specifically, sometimes you have to put your career first, sometimes your partner...and I personally don't think it's possible to have them all at perfection.
2. Babies: whenever you and your partner are "ready" for it that's the best time, wether you're 25 or 35 or 45(if still possible). you can't have babies just because society tells you that you should have them in a certain time span, but of course there is increased risk, and I don't know why you say it is really not proven that the optimal age of reproduction is 20-30 for women at least. Some women lose all their eggs before 40. And the risk of mutational events in chromosomes increases with age.
also later pregnancies may increase the rate of certain cancers to some extent, but I don't know about sex life.
3 BUT what I am afraid of is not being able to connect to my child's mentality because of our age deference.
Anyhow I don't think career is more important than having a family, but I don't think having a family is necessarily more important than having a career, I know that I can't be a good mom and a good partner if I don't work. I mean personally doing one day of housework and talking on the phone and shopping and cleaning and...will make me a depressed monster. :)
The equilibrium is the key I think
By the way ... meanwhile we are trying to make the correct decision time is passed.
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